Healing period

It's been 2 months plus since my last posting. Am going thru a healing period from my broken last relationship... Back to being by myself and my usual life by renting a room and being out there with friends and doing things that I love doing.

Won't be saying much on this post as I'm gonna get ready to go out for lunch. Not forgetting fishing session after that. Picking up my old hobby and damn it feels gd to be fishing again! Gonna make it a regular past time again... Lot more things to do in life... I'm down and out but I'm still alive. Just a matter of time the tide will turn around. I must not give up on my life. Life is such, once u give up on yourself that's it. Never say die till u hv the courage to give up on your life. Hang on... Gambate!

Soooo difficult...

Why is it so difficult to focus on making my life right? Simple, the one up there enjoy challenging me. When this thing finally goes the right way, that thing screw up. Never gonna be smooth two ways or more. Am happy now for my career path, a new and challenging job of my interest and a part time job that I'm so damn familiar with. Future looking bright isn't it? Personal life? Screwed up, dunno what to look forward to. Gosh! Why must it be so difficult? So hard to keep going trying to balance my emotion that way. I already given up hoping for good things in life. All I want is a fulfilling life, a career that I'll wake up and look forward to going to work, a companion that I can wake up to seeing his loving and smiley face and last but not least clear my debts and live happily.

But it's just so difficult, all so difficult. Simple word, the solution to my problem? Money... The root of all evil... No doubt I got myself into the mess I am in today. But everything happens for a reason. Which goes way back and no point talking about it. What done can't be undone. All I can do now is to make it right. How? Same word, money. Once the issue is money, no matter how u try to make it up in other ways it's never gonna help. Once u owe money or if the issue is about money you'll suffer. There's nothing much u can say or do about someone treating u badly or saying anything about u when u owe them money. It's especially painful and difficult if it's with the one u love. Coz this will leads to the relationship cracking up. Especially difficult if u got to face each other everyday. Having to take all kinds of attitude and live unhappily everyday. It just make life so difficult and miserable.

If there's no miracle, it could be time for me to find a place to house myself. Again it's another difficult issue, half my things somewhere which I need to move by end of this month. Half of my things here where I dun feel a sense of belonging anymore and may be on the verge of having to move soon if miracle doesn't happen. Wah... My head is gonna blast!

I really really give up on a lot of things. I just wanna pay back whatever money I owe whoever and live life anew. As long as i can live happily even if I'm alone at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Life is already so miserable, happiness is something money can't buy. Can u imagine how miserable I am? No money and no happiness. Lol... I can give up on a lot of things. But I'm not really to give up on my life yet. So, u! Yes, u up there! Pls stop torturing me. Give me a new life. Everyone has their flaws. Yes, I hv a major flaw that ruin my life big time but other than that I'm not that bad a woman after all. Please don't make it so difficult for me can? I hv suffered enough since I'm born. Just give me a new life and a new start coz I'm not ready to give up yet. I'm not ready to lost it all. I know my life is not gonna be just like that forever. Give me the strength!


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5 things I always believe in

1. Life sucks when you are not brought up having a complete family especially a mother by your side.
Moral of the story: Treasure your family when they are still around.

2. Stay away from abusive people if you have a choice, they will only cause tremors in your life. I grew up with an abusive dad and trust me, my childhood sucks big time.
Moral of the story: Never become one yourself as you wil only bring misery to others.

3. Education is important as what everyone knows. Never give up studying or learning no matter how old you are.
Moral of the story:  Without proper education, somehow or rather you will seems to lose direction in life if you are not discipline enough.

4. Always respect every individual young or old, rich or poor if you want others to give you the same respect.
Moral of the story: We all come to this world with nothing and we will go with nothing and we only live this lifetime. So, give respect to every individual.

5. Never look down on yourself or anyone.

1st day of CNY

Finally found the show I wanna watch, 真心话 on QQ... But I got no mood to watch at all. Another unhappy new year. Haiz... When can I be happy? Did something wrong and going thru the ordeal now. Nothing much I can do or say. No matter how I try to be nice and do my best now doesn't seems to make up for what I've done. Guess there's only one thing that will change things for the the better and yet that one that is something that I dun hv now... If I hv that thing, I wouldn't be so unhappy now. :( 

Anyway, happy new year everyone...