My numerology readings based on:
Birth Name: Alycia Goh Eng Yeng
(Although Alycia is not my birth name but it's the name I am using now, so I included it in)
Birth Date: 12/16/1975 (December 16, 1975)
*Your Inner or Soul's Urge: This is spiritual and emotional expression more than physical. It is your heart-felt desires, your incentive, how you look at life. Here are your areas of personal satisfaction.
Number: 5
You yearn for personal freedom in every direction, including expression of free will; for change, variety, and constant new opportunity; and to learn about life in all its phases.
The new, the unusual, the progressive -- these are where your enthusiasms are. Waiting around, being stuck in routine, and petty details are personal agitations.
Because of your desire to experience everything in life to its fullest before you let it go, you may tend to overdo sensual experience such as sex, alcohol, drugs, and food.
Instead of formal education, much of your wisdom comes from your tremendous range of activities and your contact with people of many classes and races and walks of life. This can put you in great demand as an alive and witty lecturer or teacher. You tend to be flexible, progressive, and restless.
You can enhance your life experience even more by increasing your sense of loyalty and your patience, better defining your purposes in life, and not scattering your attention so much by going too many directions at once.
*Your Personality: This is physical expression more than spiritual or emotional; your outer self, the way you express when meeting others. It may or may not be the real you.
Number: 9
You have a magnetic personality, although sometimes appear to lack forcefulness. Your pleasing manner can influence others easily. When not interested, you can appear distant. Usually you appear generous, tolerant, idealistic, altruistic, artistic, and, at times, mystical.
You can seem to view life too seriously, especially when your emotions dwell on the negative.
Your personality is not helped by wearing black. To enhance your appearance and personality, wear colors; clothing that is comfortable but not careless.
*Your Quiescent Self: Stripping away all outside influences, aspirations, ambitions, "shoulds", and "shouldn'ts" -- this is you when you are alone; just you and your dreams..
Number: 9
You are a great humanitarian, eager to be of service for the betterment of all humanity. You support and perpetuate effective social organizations whose goals are the helping of mankind. You Love the human race. You are a great artist and your works serve to inspire others on a broad scale.
Your thoughts and pleasure are being of selfless service to humanity in conjunction with personal Love and happiness.
*Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal: This is your desired lifetime accomplishment. It is a key to a useful and happy life, and to feeling fulfillment during your latter days.
Number: 5
Your destiny is to promote the idea of liberty for all; knowing that happiness cannot last without the right to be free. You know progress comes through change, by entertaining new ideas and trying new methods. Your destiny includes helping people live life more fully and with more joy. You are versatile and clever.
You are comfortable interacting with people of diverse races and backgrounds, a natural lecturer or teacher, an artist with written and spoken words, and capable of understanding many different viewpoints. You insist on having freedom of action and speech. Your life changes often, sometimes unpredictably, and you enjoy it because each change brings new opportunities to understand and absorb yet more aspects of life. You love travel and the open spaces, and you have the best opportunities to succeed in occupations that have those qualities and also bring you in contact with people, including sales, acting, speaking, teaching, commercial artist, legal fields, or as a writer or editor.
You are striking, attention getting, entertaining, and find it easier to move about than to make permanent associations with people or undertakings.
*Your Life's Path: Here are clues to what fate has in store for you. It indicates the type of encounters, events, and opportunities you are likely to experience along your physical life path.
Number: 5
Your path holds frequent change, variety, travel, and the unexpected with a thorough mingling among humanity. You will grow by adapting yourself to change and uncertainty. Crowds and audiences appeal to you. You are passionately independent. You experience restlessness or impatience when things move along too slowly or when constant repetition becomes monotonous.
You sense that experience is the best teacher and that you learn best while you maintain your sense of individual freedom. You may have a tendency to misuse your freedom with over-indulgence of the senses, but that can be corrected by using your holistic sense of free will to go on to new adventures, and thereby discarding what no longer serves a purpose.
You have an innate ingenuity and can benefit from scientific, inventive, and resourceful people. You are versatile and clever. Things don't stay the same for long where you are.
You can understand all classes and conditions of people and can adapt yourself to unusual circumstances and conditions. Be alert to seize all that is novel and progressive. You profit by contact with other people.
*Well, somewhat true but not all... Just try for fun... Go try it from this website: http://affinitynumerology.com/#G1262116026967
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
16th Dec 2009 My 34th Birthday & AG Biography Part 7
Just celebrated my 34th birthday. Another year flew past. This year wasn't good as well. Started the year quitting my previous job and ending my relationship of 2 & 1/2yrs within the first few months. Moved out of where we stayed together and renting a room by myself again. Was hibernating at home till May and decide that enough is enough, time to move on and get a life back. Started going out and met some old friends. Met Alan, offered me a job to assist him in running a pub at Tanjong Pagar under Octopus Group. To be honest, pay sucks but since I wasn't working I took up the job anyway. After I'm back to this trade, everyone starts coming to me with job offers from other pubs, shall not mention names but due to friendship I did not take up the other offers. As I wouldn't want to go from one place to another and bring away the businesses as it's for the sake of friendship that I'm there. Don't wanna spoil friendship that way and I'm very sick of night life anyway.
Had a nice buffet spread on the 15th Dec 2009, complimentary from Octopus Group. Many friends pop by and I had a great time. Will post up the photos on FB once I get them loaded up as I've got some problem loading them on my lappy. Wasn't very drunk on the 15th and headed to DF after work with with 2 gal friends. On the 16th, some old friends popped by too it's been a while since I've seen many of them. So nice to catch up once in awhile like that. Head to DF again after work. This time round was a little drunk, couldn't recall things again. It's been a while since I celebrate my birthday. I had a great one this year, although the year wasn't that good but I hope from now on it'll be good. Bad year, been falling down and getting myself injure all over. Had a bad hit on my head and got 13 stitches on my left forehead thus making me change my hair parting to the left side to cover it. Very long scar, so I haven't had my hair tied up when I go out nowadays. Overall, my birthday celebration was a success this year. It's the end of the year now, a brand new year ahead for us. Let's make the best out of our life from now on...
AG Biography Part7
There might be a little messy in sequence as I am trying very hard to recall things that happened before in my childhood. Memory is failing me lately, only things that leave impression in me I'm able to recall. I remembered that my dad took so long to tied my hair for me on my first day of primary school and from my primary school photos my socks was one side high the other side low, so funny. One incident I remembered was in primary 3, I was top 5 in class on the first half of the year and drop to 10++ at the end of the year. Guess what happen to my report book? U know the one that u got to use from primary one until u finish school? It went into a pail of water and was thrown downstairs, that's what happened. I got to call my uncle to come pick it up for me. He was the nicest uncle I ever had. He picked it up brought back home blow dry it and wrap it with plastic cover for me.
When I was in primary school, I'm always locked up at home when dad goes to work at night. Never had nice home cooked food, always eat out and have canned food or maggi mee. Life goes on without my step mother and brother. Living in fear everyday as dad is very tempermental and violent. I had my hair cut by him once in primary school when I had a pony tail and he chop it off leaving me with short boy's cut hair style. The second time my hair got cut by him was worse. I was staying with one of my uncle and one day a school mate of mine had a fight with her parents I offered her to come over and stay with me a few days. We lied to my uncle saying that her parents went overseas so she will be staying for a day or two. She didn't go school that day and I followed her. At night when we got home, her parents came over brought her home.
My dad came over and give me hell and threaten to cut off my hair so I couldn't leave the house or go to school, basically grounded me by cutting away my hair. My uncle and aunty helped to hold me down so my dad could cut my hair. I beg him not to and I say I'll jump down from there just don't cut my hair. My dad says, u can go jump after I cut your hair. So he took the scissor and chop off my locks right from the top of my head. This time round it's beyond repaired. I look terrible. I couldn't go to school and when I try going to school with a hat everyone laughs at me. A chinese teacher took pity on me and gave me money to get a wig but I look terrible with it and am worried people will pull it off so I decided to drop school.
That's when I came out to work, did many jobs. A week of factory work, shampoo gal, coffee house waitress etc. When I was 16 which is the legal official age to work I went into retail line. In between those years I took up private course twice and due to no financial support I've got to work and study at time same time which I eventually flank either one side. So I decide to just concentrate on working as I need the money. I started running away from home as I couldn't take the abusive treatment at home. I dun wanna live in fear anymore. So since 16yrs old I hv been running in and out of my house, brought to the police station twice by my dad. When I'm 20, I stayed out for good till now. Been renting rooms here and there, moving around every year or half a year all the way till now. Life have been tough on me, my life wasn't good.
To be continue...
*Will talk about my mum on part 8, stay tuned...
Had a nice buffet spread on the 15th Dec 2009, complimentary from Octopus Group. Many friends pop by and I had a great time. Will post up the photos on FB once I get them loaded up as I've got some problem loading them on my lappy. Wasn't very drunk on the 15th and headed to DF after work with with 2 gal friends. On the 16th, some old friends popped by too it's been a while since I've seen many of them. So nice to catch up once in awhile like that. Head to DF again after work. This time round was a little drunk, couldn't recall things again. It's been a while since I celebrate my birthday. I had a great one this year, although the year wasn't that good but I hope from now on it'll be good. Bad year, been falling down and getting myself injure all over. Had a bad hit on my head and got 13 stitches on my left forehead thus making me change my hair parting to the left side to cover it. Very long scar, so I haven't had my hair tied up when I go out nowadays. Overall, my birthday celebration was a success this year. It's the end of the year now, a brand new year ahead for us. Let's make the best out of our life from now on...
AG Biography Part7
There might be a little messy in sequence as I am trying very hard to recall things that happened before in my childhood. Memory is failing me lately, only things that leave impression in me I'm able to recall. I remembered that my dad took so long to tied my hair for me on my first day of primary school and from my primary school photos my socks was one side high the other side low, so funny. One incident I remembered was in primary 3, I was top 5 in class on the first half of the year and drop to 10++ at the end of the year. Guess what happen to my report book? U know the one that u got to use from primary one until u finish school? It went into a pail of water and was thrown downstairs, that's what happened. I got to call my uncle to come pick it up for me. He was the nicest uncle I ever had. He picked it up brought back home blow dry it and wrap it with plastic cover for me.
When I was in primary school, I'm always locked up at home when dad goes to work at night. Never had nice home cooked food, always eat out and have canned food or maggi mee. Life goes on without my step mother and brother. Living in fear everyday as dad is very tempermental and violent. I had my hair cut by him once in primary school when I had a pony tail and he chop it off leaving me with short boy's cut hair style. The second time my hair got cut by him was worse. I was staying with one of my uncle and one day a school mate of mine had a fight with her parents I offered her to come over and stay with me a few days. We lied to my uncle saying that her parents went overseas so she will be staying for a day or two. She didn't go school that day and I followed her. At night when we got home, her parents came over brought her home.
My dad came over and give me hell and threaten to cut off my hair so I couldn't leave the house or go to school, basically grounded me by cutting away my hair. My uncle and aunty helped to hold me down so my dad could cut my hair. I beg him not to and I say I'll jump down from there just don't cut my hair. My dad says, u can go jump after I cut your hair. So he took the scissor and chop off my locks right from the top of my head. This time round it's beyond repaired. I look terrible. I couldn't go to school and when I try going to school with a hat everyone laughs at me. A chinese teacher took pity on me and gave me money to get a wig but I look terrible with it and am worried people will pull it off so I decided to drop school.
That's when I came out to work, did many jobs. A week of factory work, shampoo gal, coffee house waitress etc. When I was 16 which is the legal official age to work I went into retail line. In between those years I took up private course twice and due to no financial support I've got to work and study at time same time which I eventually flank either one side. So I decide to just concentrate on working as I need the money. I started running away from home as I couldn't take the abusive treatment at home. I dun wanna live in fear anymore. So since 16yrs old I hv been running in and out of my house, brought to the police station twice by my dad. When I'm 20, I stayed out for good till now. Been renting rooms here and there, moving around every year or half a year all the way till now. Life have been tough on me, my life wasn't good.
To be continue...
*Will talk about my mum on part 8, stay tuned...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Believe it or not??
It's been a while since I celebrate my birthday. Hv not had a happy one for a long long time. Was thinking of having a small celebration and make myself happier to welcome the next brand new yr but dun seems like it's working. And also as business is bad lately at my workplace was hoping it will bring in a little sales. If not, with my situation now I wouldn't hv the mood to even celebrate. It's another pathetic yr for me. So pathetic I dun think anyone will believe it.
Struggling every month, can't even remember when's the last time I buy any new clothes and shoes for myself. Clothes I can skip but shoes many already spoiled but still I can't afford to buy. Every month I'm struggling with debts, rental, bills and daily allowance which is not even enough. Just finished my make up stuffs a month ago couldn't afford to even buy new ones. Dig out the old ones and manage to use them for a while but it's all finished again. It's my birthday today finally manage to go colour away all my white hair few days ago but couldn't afford to buy my neccessary make up, toiletries and some food to store at home to eat after that.
If someone will to ask me for my wish list. It will be, powder, masacara, blusher, eye brow and eye liner pencil, make up remover, shampoo, conditioner, shower foam, facial cleanser, maggi mee, dry food, hp(coz mine spoil few months back been using old phones I borrowed from friends) and shoes(which many is spoil but I'm force to wear them as I hv no money to buy new ones) That's how pathetic I am now. Many might think I shouldn't be sharing pathetic stuff like that in public but I find that it's nothing to be disgrace about. Everyone hv their down times, just that I hv more, lol...Anyway, I really hope after this birthday things will really change and turn the tide around for me. I've suffered enough. Didn't sleep much again, couldn't sleep well anyway. WIll try my best to be happy these 2 days. Hope all my friends will enjoy my birthday with me...
*P.S. Special thanks to Lawrence who will be baking a birthday cake for me. Really appreciate as no one has ever bake me a cake on my birthday. And he is a new friend which I just knew. Very sweet of him... Touched...
Struggling every month, can't even remember when's the last time I buy any new clothes and shoes for myself. Clothes I can skip but shoes many already spoiled but still I can't afford to buy. Every month I'm struggling with debts, rental, bills and daily allowance which is not even enough. Just finished my make up stuffs a month ago couldn't afford to even buy new ones. Dig out the old ones and manage to use them for a while but it's all finished again. It's my birthday today finally manage to go colour away all my white hair few days ago but couldn't afford to buy my neccessary make up, toiletries and some food to store at home to eat after that.
If someone will to ask me for my wish list. It will be, powder, masacara, blusher, eye brow and eye liner pencil, make up remover, shampoo, conditioner, shower foam, facial cleanser, maggi mee, dry food, hp(coz mine spoil few months back been using old phones I borrowed from friends) and shoes(which many is spoil but I'm force to wear them as I hv no money to buy new ones) That's how pathetic I am now. Many might think I shouldn't be sharing pathetic stuff like that in public but I find that it's nothing to be disgrace about. Everyone hv their down times, just that I hv more, lol...Anyway, I really hope after this birthday things will really change and turn the tide around for me. I've suffered enough. Didn't sleep much again, couldn't sleep well anyway. WIll try my best to be happy these 2 days. Hope all my friends will enjoy my birthday with me...
*P.S. Special thanks to Lawrence who will be baking a birthday cake for me. Really appreciate as no one has ever bake me a cake on my birthday. And he is a new friend which I just knew. Very sweet of him... Touched...
Monday, December 7, 2009
Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation
Emotional Manipulation is Also "Covert Aggression." See: "Psychopaths: Wolves in Sheep's Clothing"
1) There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is. Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.
2) An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" - they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever - they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making - which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their theater.
3) Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it. If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’ bullshit meter should be flashing steady by now!
4) Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim. They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and note the bullshit meter once again.
5) Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put others in the position of telling you what they would not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off shit to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie" is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll probably wind your butt in jail.
6) If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!
7) Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much right to have your needs met.
8) Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety. Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive, emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.
1) There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is. Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.
2) An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" - they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever - they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making - which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their theater.
3) Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it. If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’ bullshit meter should be flashing steady by now!
4) Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim. They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and note the bullshit meter once again.
5) Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put others in the position of telling you what they would not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off shit to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie" is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll probably wind your butt in jail.
6) If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!
7) Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much right to have your needs met.
8) Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety. Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive, emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)